Prayers for Lola and all mothers out there

From today's Gospel:

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

“Stop judging and you will not be judged.
Stop condemning and you will not be condemned.
Forgive and you will be forgiven.
Give and gifts will be given to you;
a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing,
will be poured into your lap.
For the measure with which you measure
will in return be measured out to you.”

Lord God, I ask for Your healing mercies upon my grandmother, my Lola Nelly, who will be undergoing surgery at Hackensack hospital today. May Your healing hands come down upon all those who are caring for her today. May You allay her fears with Your most gentle hand, may Your quell her fears with Your love and presence. Send down Your Holy Spirit and fill her with peace and tranquility.  Lord God, I thank You for giving me another grandmother, whom I have grown to love and admire more and more each day. Thank You Jesus, for my own mother, for her perseverance & patience in caring for my Lola during her old age. Thank You Jesus, for my wife and mother to our son, Cory Benjamin and the child who is growing inside her.

Lord, thank You for this time to reflect on Your word. May I measure those who I come into contact with today with love, kindness and compassion, so that in return, I will be measured with the same. 

Amen.

Grateful

Today's Psalm
I will thank you always for what you have done,
and proclaim the goodness of your name
before your faithful ones.

I know I am a sinner and not worthy. Everything I have is from God, anything more is just icing on the cake. Thank You, Father God, for the blessings, the hardships, the difficult times, but mostly for humbling me each and every day. I am nothing without You. Help me to turn to you in times of need, and praise You instead of curse You when things are going wrong. 

I pray for my wife and the child that is in her belly. May you bless it with good health, and may You shower Your tender love on her and the child that is within her. I pray for my son, that You continue to guide us in raising him to be a loving, compassionate and caring child. 

Thank You, Lord, for this time with You. I love you with all my heart.

The poor will you will always have with you.

Excellent reflection in my church's little black Lenten book.

They quote the reading where Jesus states that, "The poor you will always have with you."  I haven't really studied the bible cover to cover, which is sad, but true. I haven't come across this verse and it struck me because it kind of goes against what I have come to believe the past few years.

The book says that Jesus isn't stating that poverty is just a fact of life and we should get over it. To the contrary, He is quoting Moses in Deuteronomy, who was preparing the Israelites to enter the promised land. He warned them, the same way Jesus did - that although there were riches in the Promised Land, that wealth would not be distributed evenly...a fact that, unfortunately, is still prevalent around the world and in our society.

As for me, I consider myself to be middle-right, politically. I am fortunate enough to be educated, to have two bachelors degrees, and to be gainfully employed...and I feel as if I have earned it with hard work, discipline, and (lastly) the means to do so through the support of my parents and family. As I progressed and developed a bias against handouts...welfare...whatever you want to call it. Yet, I know that there are those poor who did not have a fraction of the circumstances and means that I did growing up and have become reliant on welfare programs.

I pray that I my heart softens to those who are in need, are hungry or who lead difficult lives - that I may be more selfless than selfish and that I may give alms freely and without expectation of reward, especially during this Lenten season. Amen.

Home

Today's first reading struck me:

...if you obey the commandments of the LORD, your God, which I enjoin on you today, loving him, and walking in His ways, and keeping his commandments, statutes and decrees, you will live and grow numerous, and the LORD, your God, will bless you in the land you are entering to occupy.

My wife and I, God-willing, will be blessed with our second child this September. And by April of this year, we will move into our first house. Two blessings that are undeniable and somewhat unfathomable due to their timing. And yet, we receive these blessings not under the pretext of today's first reading.  Not speaking for my wife, but I know that I have strayed from God these past few years. I have spent less time contemplating my relationship with the Lord, and have instead turned my ears to the noise that surrounds me - career, graduating school, work, retirement planning, social status, etc. I guess these are things that someone of my age and marital and familial status focuses on, but I know God has had a hand in all these things.

I reflect on the past few years and realize that I only turned to God and uttered His name under 3 conditions:

1. when I needed something
2. during Sunday mass
3. when I blasphemed His name

Now that things are well and the blessings are abundant, I want to be better. I want to pray more. I want to give praise and thanksgiving to God for all that He has done for me and my family. Not only when we are in need or during Sunday mass. I want to represent the LORD better, and be a reflection of His goodness and kindness.

Specifically, I know that this time to reflect on His Word has already lit a fire in my spirit. I need to pray more, not just on my own, but teach my son Cory to pray to God and to thank Him (and not just at meal time). And I need to thank God everyday for keeping His promise, and I look to do the same for Him.

obey the commandments

...you will live and grow numerous

   ...God will bless you in the land you are entering to occupy.

Praise God.

Lent is more about losing weight

I read the subject line in a Lenten prayer book my parish was handing out last Sunday. It was preceded by a reflection that spoke to our fragility as babies, surviving the birth process (which is why they call it the miracle of birth), but eventually we will die.

I will die.
I will return to the ground.
I will leave everyone and everything that I've done and accomplished here on earth.
I cannot take anything with me.
And I will meet God.

Not quite ready for that. I contemplate living in the here and now and I envy people and friends who live by the moniker that, "you only live once." I know that as I get older, I myself am more a proponent of the, "life is not a sprint, it's a marathon," mentality. Looking at this as if I am applying to college again, are my grades high enough? Did I join enough clubs? Extra curricular activities? Am I well rounded to have a seat at the table?

I wonder if I'm good enough to get in.

Do so quietly...

Ash Wednesday 2014, and according to my pastor, it is a time of prayer, fasting and giving alms. For the past 3-4 years, I have been living a bit of a lie. I give alms and go to church regularly, but I have never felt so far from God.

Thankfully, my years spent in my old prayer community (shout out to BLD) has prepared me for this - to just stop, pause and reflect on my life. I want to know God more. I want Him to resonate within me, not just on the periphery. Prayer, fasting and giving alms. I know this is the recipe for peace.

I have a lot going for me and my family now, much of which is due to a combination of hard work and good fortune. But a part of it feels empty, and I've figured out it's because I haven't involved the Lord in any of it. I've patted myself on the back too often.I have not looked upward and given Him the credit He deserves.

So although I am a bit rusty, and the prayers may now come to mind freely or roll off my tongue smoothly, I want this cup of life to overflow, starting now, Ash Wednesday.

Thank You Jesus, for this time to spend with You. Help me to be in Your presence, to feel Your unconditional love for me once again, so that I, in turn, can share this love with others. Amen.

The years that were 2011-12

since the last time i was on here, much has transpired. finally went to europe and saw the eiffel tower, the louvre (twice) and bought my wife a louis vuitton bag (i think this is a right of passage for any husband, at least that's what my wife told me), I finished nursing school, managed to get my wife pregnant in the process (immaculate conception IMO), held my firstborn son Cory Benjamin in my arms, passed the NCLEX and managed to get hired at the same employer in the operating room.

through it all, I know God was with me and my family, and sad to say I have yet to give Him his due. so I'll start small and say thanks, Father God, for everything. I am so unworthy of this life you have given me and I am in awe of You. I will remember all of this when life deals me a bad hand, I will not complain, I will not curse You, I will take it in stride and bear that cross.

that is all.

first day of summer is Aug. 2nd in my calendar

it's been 2 years, so i figured i'd write something new.

thanks to the wonderfully available Weekend Accelerated Bachelor's of Science in Nursing program at Dominican College in Orangeburg, NY, I have yet to fully experience the wonders of summer. got a taste of it today grabbing a cup of coffee from the local bagel shop across the street when the sun pelted me in the face and all I could do was stop and embrace the damaging UV rays that, at the same time, fed me the vital Vitamin D that my skin needs to absorb calcium (aaaaargh, it always comes back to nursing).

anyway, one more psychiatric nursing final tomorrow, followed by 5 weeks of lovely summer, a trip to see Yanks-Sox at the new house with the classmates, opening day at the U.S. Tennis Open, more weekends spent with my roommate while ending it all in the most romantic city in the world (or so they say), Paris!

one last time

i must admit, i will miss the singles ministry. i really will. it's been a huge part of me, not just my my spiritual development, but my development as a person. it was a really nice send off on friday when maia and i led worship. thanks to ate lita for constantly approaching us to be prayer leaders, i have no clue why i was so hesitant.

i enjoyed bi-reffing with maia and really tried to understand God's word for sunday. i even talked to father paul several times to get clarification on the readings...but friday, i could really feel the Holy Spirit moving in the room. i hope and pray that current and future singles continue to let go and let God...not just at a Singles Encounter or at a LSS, but even at Friday worship.

do not be afraid to express how much you love God, don't be tentative and afraid to cry out to the Holy Spirit in tongues of fire or to sing your heart out, do not be afraid to lift up your arms and reach out to Him. you are the future of the singles ministry, so i pray you take advantage of Friday worships to strengthen your faith.

maybe soon there will be a separate ministry for married couples who are not too ready to join the adults and take a Marraige Encounter...we can call it the Mingles Ministry? =)

thank you, singles ministry, you have served us well and i hope i did the same for you.

Clear Eyes. Full Hearts. Can't lose!

I know that the 3 or 4 of you that read this blog aren't really into TV or sports for that matter, but if anyone comes across this and you, a) loves sports and b) love dramas that deal with teenage angst, you should check out Friday Night Lights.

On a tip from my buddy Nicolo, I'm through 4 discs of the Season 1 DVD set. As my writer-idol Bill Simmons puts it, "It's the best sports-related show ever made."

Combine the story of a town whose sole identity revolves around their high school football team, the teenage angst from The O.C., brilliantly developed characters (such as the lovable loser backup quarterback, always a crowd favorite), compelling plot lines (which includes the football player-cheerleader versus everybody-else theme, a quadrapoligic rugby team on their way to the Beijing Paralymics, an awesome episode examining the stereotypical, super athletic black athelete and their more cerebral white counterparts that just oozes with racial tension and teenage celibacy) and, on top of that, excellent acting and you've got the elements of high drama.

Riggs, Street & The Smash

Lyla Garrity

Reading Sports Guy's article about FNL, it's sad to think that this show will ultimately face the ax due to the writer's strike and/or lackluster ratings. Both are unacceptable reasons to cancel a show, but NBC hurt itself by airing this show on difficult nights (who watches TV on Friday nights?). They'd be losing a gem of a show. I'm not even a huge football fan. I'd even rank it 3rd or 4th on the "watchability scale" behind baseball, basketball and/or tennis.

Please support this show. Netflix the first season or better yet, buy the DVD set. Or even if you're not a sports fan, it's worth it.

All this makes this show my newest, favoritest (it's a word) show of the early year...that is, until Lost comes back this Thursday!

We have to go back, Kate!

Up Next: my iiinteresting first day of Intro to Chemistry at Bergen Community College.

The Library...

The predecessor to the internet, Google and pretty much any other search engine out there, today's libraries still offer a wealth of information for the dwindling number of denizens of the town, city, municipality or borough they serve, albeit obtaining said information can be quite the meticulous task. Remember the Card Catalog? Thank God for Google.

Outside of the 3-4 books that I've borrowed from the Bergenfield Public Library last year, I've found that the library can serve in alternate ways, namely...it can populate my iPod Playlist! I went to the library with Maia last week and to my surprise, Bergenfield's Public Library had quite an extensive collection of CD's! Not only can I borrow up to 50 items (books, CD's), but I could easily burn or "rip" these CD's onto iTunes, providing the CD doesn't have some sort of built-in, anti-ripping software.

And because you are a citizen of your town and simply by signing up for a library card, it's all FREE! And for once in my life, I'm getting FREE MUSIC LEGALLY!

In the words of Peter Griffin, "Freakin' Sweet!"

So the past couple of times I went to the library, I was able to pick up those albums that I've always wanted, but couldn't necessarily warrant purchase, or past CD's I've had that got scratched or lost.

Here's a brief list of what I picked up:

• Beastie Boys - Solid Gold Hits
• The Shins - Chutes Too Narrow
• Justin Timberlake - Futuresex/Lovesounds
• Dave Matthews Band - Under the Table and Dreaming
• The Killers - Hot Fuss
• Motion City Soundtrack - Commit This to Memory
• Panic! At the Disco - A Fever You Can't Sweat Out
• Matisyahu - Youth
• Eminem - Curtain Call
• Jason Mraz - Mr. A-Z
• Arctic Monkeys - Favourite Worst Nightmare
• Franz Ferdinand - Self-Titled
• Kelly Clarkson - Breakaway
• jLo - On the 6
• Five for Fighting - The Battle for Everything
  

Pretty damn good list. Even if jLo and Kelly Clarkson are on it. Not to mention I picked up some obscure stuff like a collection of Pure Funk music that's pretty awesome.

Thus concludes this public service announcement -
Patronize your local libraries. They have good, free stuff.

Monumental Year. Like....3-0...monumental.

Yeah yeah, I'm back on the world wide web. It's become one of my New Year's resolutions to somewhat document my-so-called-life, for several reasons:

1. It was either this or join Facebook. I'll pass on the latter.
   
2. I miss having an outlet to do creative writing, so I'll try to do so at least once a week.
3. Writing on this thing gives me a form of release or expression or whatever.
4. I have a pretty terrible memory when it comes to stuff that I should remember, but my memory is uncanny when it comes to the mundane details. So here's an attempt to capture the important stuff...
   
5. It appears 2008 will be one of the best years of my life!

I'll be turning 30 in *crap* 8 days. Where the heck did my 20s go? I swear I remember turning 20...and 25...but the last 5 years were a fricking blur. Sometimes I think that I'm in too much of a rush to grow up, that I think that one day I'll regret that I've missed out on some of the things on my "To Do Before I Turn 30" list. Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely looking forward to starting my new life with Maia, but the other day I was talking to my sister Mel about it and I told her that all the jokes that I make about turning 30 was just a way for me to hide the fact that I'm quasi-depressed that I'm leaving my 20s behind and that I'm becoming "old".

After I said that, Mel was like, "Oh my God, are you crying?" and sure enough, I was wiping away some watery substance from the side of my eyes. I was like "No, I'm tearing, guys don't cry." hahaha man that was so embarassing, but hey, I guess I gotta face reality. And some of my co-workers were all like, "Wow, you look so young" (too bad I wear a surgical cap at work, otherwise, they'd see how old I really look) or "Don't worry, the 30s is the new 20s" blah blah blah but man, seriously...as positive as I try to be about everything, this is definitely a difficult pill to swallow.

One thing's for sure: As much as I think I'm in control, God is definitely at the helm, not me. And I say this because looking back 2, 3 or even 5 years ago, I never would have assumed that I'd be where I am today. The best laid plans never really pan out, no matter how much effort you try to make things come to fruition.

Man, writing in this thing really is cathartic. I'm feeling better already.

Til next time, I'll try to come up with more interesting things to talk about...until then, Happy New Year and here's to 2008, the best year yet!