The poor will you will always have with you.

Excellent reflection in my church's little black Lenten book.

They quote the reading where Jesus states that, "The poor you will always have with you."  I haven't really studied the bible cover to cover, which is sad, but true. I haven't come across this verse and it struck me because it kind of goes against what I have come to believe the past few years.

The book says that Jesus isn't stating that poverty is just a fact of life and we should get over it. To the contrary, He is quoting Moses in Deuteronomy, who was preparing the Israelites to enter the promised land. He warned them, the same way Jesus did - that although there were riches in the Promised Land, that wealth would not be distributed evenly...a fact that, unfortunately, is still prevalent around the world and in our society.

As for me, I consider myself to be middle-right, politically. I am fortunate enough to be educated, to have two bachelors degrees, and to be gainfully employed...and I feel as if I have earned it with hard work, discipline, and (lastly) the means to do so through the support of my parents and family. As I progressed and developed a bias against handouts...welfare...whatever you want to call it. Yet, I know that there are those poor who did not have a fraction of the circumstances and means that I did growing up and have become reliant on welfare programs.

I pray that I my heart softens to those who are in need, are hungry or who lead difficult lives - that I may be more selfless than selfish and that I may give alms freely and without expectation of reward, especially during this Lenten season. Amen.

Home

Today's first reading struck me:

...if you obey the commandments of the LORD, your God, which I enjoin on you today, loving him, and walking in His ways, and keeping his commandments, statutes and decrees, you will live and grow numerous, and the LORD, your God, will bless you in the land you are entering to occupy.

My wife and I, God-willing, will be blessed with our second child this September. And by April of this year, we will move into our first house. Two blessings that are undeniable and somewhat unfathomable due to their timing. And yet, we receive these blessings not under the pretext of today's first reading.  Not speaking for my wife, but I know that I have strayed from God these past few years. I have spent less time contemplating my relationship with the Lord, and have instead turned my ears to the noise that surrounds me - career, graduating school, work, retirement planning, social status, etc. I guess these are things that someone of my age and marital and familial status focuses on, but I know God has had a hand in all these things.

I reflect on the past few years and realize that I only turned to God and uttered His name under 3 conditions:

1. when I needed something
2. during Sunday mass
3. when I blasphemed His name

Now that things are well and the blessings are abundant, I want to be better. I want to pray more. I want to give praise and thanksgiving to God for all that He has done for me and my family. Not only when we are in need or during Sunday mass. I want to represent the LORD better, and be a reflection of His goodness and kindness.

Specifically, I know that this time to reflect on His Word has already lit a fire in my spirit. I need to pray more, not just on my own, but teach my son Cory to pray to God and to thank Him (and not just at meal time). And I need to thank God everyday for keeping His promise, and I look to do the same for Him.

obey the commandments

...you will live and grow numerous

   ...God will bless you in the land you are entering to occupy.

Praise God.

Lent is more about losing weight

I read the subject line in a Lenten prayer book my parish was handing out last Sunday. It was preceded by a reflection that spoke to our fragility as babies, surviving the birth process (which is why they call it the miracle of birth), but eventually we will die.

I will die.
I will return to the ground.
I will leave everyone and everything that I've done and accomplished here on earth.
I cannot take anything with me.
And I will meet God.

Not quite ready for that. I contemplate living in the here and now and I envy people and friends who live by the moniker that, "you only live once." I know that as I get older, I myself am more a proponent of the, "life is not a sprint, it's a marathon," mentality. Looking at this as if I am applying to college again, are my grades high enough? Did I join enough clubs? Extra curricular activities? Am I well rounded to have a seat at the table?

I wonder if I'm good enough to get in.

Do so quietly...

Ash Wednesday 2014, and according to my pastor, it is a time of prayer, fasting and giving alms. For the past 3-4 years, I have been living a bit of a lie. I give alms and go to church regularly, but I have never felt so far from God.

Thankfully, my years spent in my old prayer community (shout out to BLD) has prepared me for this - to just stop, pause and reflect on my life. I want to know God more. I want Him to resonate within me, not just on the periphery. Prayer, fasting and giving alms. I know this is the recipe for peace.

I have a lot going for me and my family now, much of which is due to a combination of hard work and good fortune. But a part of it feels empty, and I've figured out it's because I haven't involved the Lord in any of it. I've patted myself on the back too often.I have not looked upward and given Him the credit He deserves.

So although I am a bit rusty, and the prayers may now come to mind freely or roll off my tongue smoothly, I want this cup of life to overflow, starting now, Ash Wednesday.

Thank You Jesus, for this time to spend with You. Help me to be in Your presence, to feel Your unconditional love for me once again, so that I, in turn, can share this love with others. Amen.

The years that were 2011-12

since the last time i was on here, much has transpired. finally went to europe and saw the eiffel tower, the louvre (twice) and bought my wife a louis vuitton bag (i think this is a right of passage for any husband, at least that's what my wife told me), I finished nursing school, managed to get my wife pregnant in the process (immaculate conception IMO), held my firstborn son Cory Benjamin in my arms, passed the NCLEX and managed to get hired at the same employer in the operating room.

through it all, I know God was with me and my family, and sad to say I have yet to give Him his due. so I'll start small and say thanks, Father God, for everything. I am so unworthy of this life you have given me and I am in awe of You. I will remember all of this when life deals me a bad hand, I will not complain, I will not curse You, I will take it in stride and bear that cross.

that is all.

first day of summer is Aug. 2nd in my calendar

it's been 2 years, so i figured i'd write something new.

thanks to the wonderfully available Weekend Accelerated Bachelor's of Science in Nursing program at Dominican College in Orangeburg, NY, I have yet to fully experience the wonders of summer. got a taste of it today grabbing a cup of coffee from the local bagel shop across the street when the sun pelted me in the face and all I could do was stop and embrace the damaging UV rays that, at the same time, fed me the vital Vitamin D that my skin needs to absorb calcium (aaaaargh, it always comes back to nursing).

anyway, one more psychiatric nursing final tomorrow, followed by 5 weeks of lovely summer, a trip to see Yanks-Sox at the new house with the classmates, opening day at the U.S. Tennis Open, more weekends spent with my roommate while ending it all in the most romantic city in the world (or so they say), Paris!

one last time

i must admit, i will miss the singles ministry. i really will. it's been a huge part of me, not just my my spiritual development, but my development as a person. it was a really nice send off on friday when maia and i led worship. thanks to ate lita for constantly approaching us to be prayer leaders, i have no clue why i was so hesitant.

i enjoyed bi-reffing with maia and really tried to understand God's word for sunday. i even talked to father paul several times to get clarification on the readings...but friday, i could really feel the Holy Spirit moving in the room. i hope and pray that current and future singles continue to let go and let God...not just at a Singles Encounter or at a LSS, but even at Friday worship.

do not be afraid to express how much you love God, don't be tentative and afraid to cry out to the Holy Spirit in tongues of fire or to sing your heart out, do not be afraid to lift up your arms and reach out to Him. you are the future of the singles ministry, so i pray you take advantage of Friday worships to strengthen your faith.

maybe soon there will be a separate ministry for married couples who are not too ready to join the adults and take a Marraige Encounter...we can call it the Mingles Ministry? =)

thank you, singles ministry, you have served us well and i hope i did the same for you.