Home

Today's first reading struck me:

...if you obey the commandments of the LORD, your God, which I enjoin on you today, loving him, and walking in His ways, and keeping his commandments, statutes and decrees, you will live and grow numerous, and the LORD, your God, will bless you in the land you are entering to occupy.

My wife and I, God-willing, will be blessed with our second child this September. And by April of this year, we will move into our first house. Two blessings that are undeniable and somewhat unfathomable due to their timing. And yet, we receive these blessings not under the pretext of today's first reading.  Not speaking for my wife, but I know that I have strayed from God these past few years. I have spent less time contemplating my relationship with the Lord, and have instead turned my ears to the noise that surrounds me - career, graduating school, work, retirement planning, social status, etc. I guess these are things that someone of my age and marital and familial status focuses on, but I know God has had a hand in all these things.

I reflect on the past few years and realize that I only turned to God and uttered His name under 3 conditions:

1. when I needed something
2. during Sunday mass
3. when I blasphemed His name

Now that things are well and the blessings are abundant, I want to be better. I want to pray more. I want to give praise and thanksgiving to God for all that He has done for me and my family. Not only when we are in need or during Sunday mass. I want to represent the LORD better, and be a reflection of His goodness and kindness.

Specifically, I know that this time to reflect on His Word has already lit a fire in my spirit. I need to pray more, not just on my own, but teach my son Cory to pray to God and to thank Him (and not just at meal time). And I need to thank God everyday for keeping His promise, and I look to do the same for Him.

obey the commandments

...you will live and grow numerous

   ...God will bless you in the land you are entering to occupy.

Praise God.

Lent is more about losing weight

I read the subject line in a Lenten prayer book my parish was handing out last Sunday. It was preceded by a reflection that spoke to our fragility as babies, surviving the birth process (which is why they call it the miracle of birth), but eventually we will die.

I will die.
I will return to the ground.
I will leave everyone and everything that I've done and accomplished here on earth.
I cannot take anything with me.
And I will meet God.

Not quite ready for that. I contemplate living in the here and now and I envy people and friends who live by the moniker that, "you only live once." I know that as I get older, I myself am more a proponent of the, "life is not a sprint, it's a marathon," mentality. Looking at this as if I am applying to college again, are my grades high enough? Did I join enough clubs? Extra curricular activities? Am I well rounded to have a seat at the table?

I wonder if I'm good enough to get in.

Do so quietly...

Ash Wednesday 2014, and according to my pastor, it is a time of prayer, fasting and giving alms. For the past 3-4 years, I have been living a bit of a lie. I give alms and go to church regularly, but I have never felt so far from God.

Thankfully, my years spent in my old prayer community (shout out to BLD) has prepared me for this - to just stop, pause and reflect on my life. I want to know God more. I want Him to resonate within me, not just on the periphery. Prayer, fasting and giving alms. I know this is the recipe for peace.

I have a lot going for me and my family now, much of which is due to a combination of hard work and good fortune. But a part of it feels empty, and I've figured out it's because I haven't involved the Lord in any of it. I've patted myself on the back too often.I have not looked upward and given Him the credit He deserves.

So although I am a bit rusty, and the prayers may now come to mind freely or roll off my tongue smoothly, I want this cup of life to overflow, starting now, Ash Wednesday.

Thank You Jesus, for this time to spend with You. Help me to be in Your presence, to feel Your unconditional love for me once again, so that I, in turn, can share this love with others. Amen.